happy new year peasants!!
you know you've lurched through the tedium that is christmas and into a new year not because you're a good stone fatter than you were a few ,short weeks ago. no, the reason you know it's early january is that celebrity big fucking brother is on tv again. z list celebrities cooped up in a house for our "entertainment". Their ability to build in drama where there is none to be had is frankly mind boggling. it must be a very deep barrel they've found to scrape this time round.
The last time i felt such an utter sense of despair was in the late summer last year when ,as a family, we went to West Midlands safari park for the day. This has got to be the most unrewarding experience of anyone's life. you negotiate your way through a series of (slowly) opened gates ,inch forward to (not) view a motley collection of beasts. i swear i saw one of the animals mouth the words "kill me now" Rather ominously there are signs up telling you to leave your windows up--why?? i didn't see anything near enough to my car to cause any sort of problem. maybe it was alluding to the fact that you might end up fucking soaked in the pissing down rain which accompanies you on your african odyssey.